I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about a lot of things lately. I’ve been thinking about life, the world, the economy, food - everything.
Life is tough. I want out of this house, but feel guilty about it and 1 – I feel like I can’t leave my brother 2 – I feel like my parents need me. I got along so much better with everyone when I wasn’t living at home. Mostly my brother. I get along better with my parents now than I did before I moved out which is good. I complain ALL THE TIME about their smoking. Its worse in the summer because the smoke has no where to go. I hate it. I hate it so very, very much. There is nothing I hate more than leaving the house REEKING of that DISGUSTING smell. Do they care? No. It’s really unfair that as a nonsmoker, I am made to smell that shit. They know I hate it. They know VERY WELL I hate it, but THEY DON’T CARE. The brother says he’s going to quit, but I’m not holding my breath.
Wow… what a rant.
I want out of the house, but there are those 2 reasons up there ^. There’s the fact that what if I lose my job, it’d be irresponsible of my to move out now, plus I have over 900$ in student loans every month! See my dilemma? This depressing me just by venting about it.
The world and the economy suck. I want to help the world by volunteering, but the economy suck and I don’t feel safe doing it. Waa waa whinny bitch.
I still would love to start a volunteering group. I had all these ideas then it fizzled. I have discovered I can’t do things on my own. I can plan it, but I need someone to come with, otherwise it doesn’t get done. Lame right?
Food. I’ve been thinking a lot about food. I skimmed the idea of “Skinny Bitch” from 2 of my girl friends that have read it and love it (it talks about becoming vegetarian), plus I have read books by Dr Weil who I trust more and who talks about cutting out red meat rather than all meat (hes a big fish person) and some dairy (not that I eat much outside of cheese). I want to be healthy, I want to live a healthy life/lifestyle but at the same time I’m not sure if I can say “bye, bye” to meat. I’m unsure with what I want to do, and where I want to go with this. I’m not even thinking straight any longer.
My brain is fried. Exhausted. Kill me.