Goals and Dreams

So I've been thinking about a million things lately.

Three of those million?

1. I want to start a volunteer organization that goes and visits people in nursing homes.  So many people in nursing homes have no one to visit them, if they do, they don't visit often.  I should probably start visiting them myself before I start the organization.  However, I'm not good at doing things half assed. if I have an idea, its all or nothing. Awful I know.  But I have to figure out how to make it happen.

2.  I've been thinking about Paris. I miss Paris, I miss it so much, I told my friend Talar that I would give my left pinkie to be in Paris.  Talar lives in Paris.  She moved there when she got married to her handsome French-Armenian Hubby (they're a gorgeous couple... its ridiculous). Anyway, I want to move to France, Live and work in Paris.  Is that so much to ask for? However this clashed with my other (newer) Goal.

3.  I want to buy a house.  Not just any house. I want to buy a house that is falling apart (but livable) and I want to fix it up myself.  I want to make it into the house I would love to live in. I'm sure I could find a house that is in foreclosure that not in the best condition that is uber affordable and fix t up to be amazing.  I'm not a fixer upper kinda gal, but I've always wanted to be.  I want to know know everything about everything.

I want to know how to fix a car.  I don't want to be a mechanic because I'm too vain and I couldn't handle my hands being gross and black.  however, I do want to be able to change my oil, know how to find out whats wrong with my car, fix basic things and know when a mechanic is BSing me.

So there are my current Goals.  I was talking to the brother about them last night (well number 2 and 3, not 1) and he said I could always buy the house, then if I decide to move to France, rent it out.  Of course I'd make him be the landlord while I was gone.  He asked me what's stopping me.  I reminded him that I'm conservative and picking up and moving to Paris, even for one year like he suggested, is a huge thing.  Just because I want to do something, doesn't mean I will.  

How sad is that?  I have a dream but I know I won't pursue it?!  That makes me sad, depressed even.  Ok, not depressed, but sad.