I have been spending time thinking about my future... what do I want? I know, how new and unlike me to wonder. In this case though, it has to do with my future with mens. Sometimes I think I only want to find one to make everyone happy. I definitely get lonely, but I think that comes with Depression... but a lot of the time I'm content with my friends and my free time. Lately I've been so lame; crocheting all my free time away. I know, I said it. LAME. hah. Of course I want the fantasy, the fairy tale... the stereotypical love story. Unfortunately, the experiences of my parents has broken my spirits of love and marriage (goes together like a horse and carriage this, I tell your.....*hums*). I know that love exists... I've seen it. I just can't imagine it. I can't consive it in my life. I barely feel like I'm in a family that loves me. What makes me think a man, who doesn't have to love me, will love me.