Thursday, January 22, 2009


I know I can lose weight.  How do I know? I've done it before.  Of course that time it started off fine and ended in a nearly anorexic mess, but still, I lost a lot of weight.  I was my thinnest ever.  Sometimes I think I wasn't made to be thin, I look weird, I cant stay there... 

I've been listening to a lot of podcasts lately, and one was about the emotions behind it.  The podcasts have been good, they're motivating me.  Well, the guy noted that fat people have trouble seeing themselves thin, then when they're thin, they still can't see it. 

I never saw myself thin, I did in little bursts, like when i bought clothes, but never for long.  Its a serious psychological thing, to lose weight.  People don't get it, especially if they're thin.  

When I was at SCSU I talked about my eating and emotional eating and all that jazz with my counselor (I miss her...) and we got no where... we even tried EMDR.  Anyway, its a tough challenge, and just when I think I can do it, my emotions get the best of me and I can't let myself be thin.  Weird... right?

I need to think myself thin.

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