Pain....

I was originally going to post about just one thing… but now I have two.

We finished watching Hotel Rwanda in class today. Genocide makes me so dammed angry. For absolutely no reason at all people kill others. Okay, there IS a reason but it is not a good one!! What is this obsession with making the world the way WE want it?? The US is going to other countries telling them how to run countries. Adults tell other how to live their lives. The French are making a huff because the president has a girlfriend and people are committing genocide because they don’t like the group.

How is it in this day and age we have genocide going on in Darfur and it isn’t stopping. It pains me. It pains me that Rwanda happened at all, that Bosnia happened at all. God forbid the UN helps people dying when they actually need it. SO AGGRIVATING I COULD SCREAM!

And two? Well, if you don’t know by now, know that my roommate and I are “separating.” We have common friends and that’s never been a problem for me before. You don’t have to see the person you don’t like to see your friends. Well apparently it’s turning into a problem. She posted on facebook how she’s going to “step down.” Well how would that make you feel? I felt like I was being made into a bad guy. Two of the girls replied and said nono we love you too. Did I get mad? No! Why would I? I knew they were her friends… duh!? I posted a comment that I was hurt by her saying that. I said I felt like it made me feel like the bad guy. So what happened?? The two girls attack me. Okay, no they said they weren’t attacking me. They say they resent me for trying to get them to dislike her or something. Who do they think I am? God? I can’t MAKE anyone feel any way they don’t want to, nor do I expect Amanda’s FRIENDS to stop talking to her for some reason.

So I responded. I’m hurt, now I resent them, they have no offended ME. Forget it. I won’t go to them anymore for anything. Who do I have to turn to? AH is unreachable, AR sounds irritated every time I call her and KJ isn’t talking to me. One of you might be getting a call next time I have a break down… who knows.

I’m just talking out my ass. I know I have people to turn to. It just hurts that they would accuse me of that. They know me. They know me well. They know more about me than most people. Goodness I met them in therapy. Do you see now why it hurts?

Okay, time to get off my soapbox and have some lunch…