Wednesday, May 28, 2008


I hate it. I love it.
The one thing I wish we could have figured out in therapy is my relationship with food.

The last few days have been awful. I've been insatiable. I just want to eat all the time and I'm never satisfied. I don't feel hunger but I need it. No one can understand it. I can't understand it. It makes me sick. I disgust me. But I don't know what to do. We tried EMDR to find why I eat, but nothing. People have trouble seeing overeating as an eating disorder, but it is. That might be why it was so easy for me to become anorexic with the hep of pills. I want so bad to go back there. Isnt that awful? I want to be anorexic. I know why its bad, I know the health ramifications. I know all the ways to eat healthy. I know a lot about food. I know a lot about food (yes I know I repeated myself there).

Riddle me this batman... How can I get to the root of my issues and fix them so I can be less fat and gross.
Tough riddle eh?


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