Saturday, May 24, 2008

stick a fork in my... i'm done!

well, with school at least...
It's weird... I'm all done with college, and I still don't have a full time job... it's like a strange limbo...
People have told me to not worry too much about work and to not rush...
I want to do art, I want to do good, I want to... I want to so much.
I need to figure out a way to help my parents too.
It's tough being a 27 year old college graduate with a pair of elderly parents. my dad will be 70 in just months (August) and my mom 65 in December.
They're hurt, they're ill, they're Old and without jobs, without insurance. My dad's old enough for Medicare, but mom isn't eligible till her birthday.
How are they going to pay the mortgage? the electricity?
How are they going to live?
My mom buys food thats practically rotten because it's inexpensive.

I don't know how to help them. They need help, but there is only so much I can do.
I love my parents. I worry for them.
I'm excited for what the world holds for me, I'm excited because theres so much I can do now. Things I may have been afraid to do before.

Last week I had to say goodbye to my councler at SCSU because it's only for matriculated students, not graduates. I've been seeing Elaine since December 2005, long time. It was hard to say goodbye, she said to write and let he kow what i'm up to which made me glad.
Anyway, in that goodbye meeting we looked back, and i realized how much I have grown in these 3 years. I'm stronger internally, I'm smarter and I know it. I know I'm a good writer, I can edit well. I can be alone. I'm planning one moving away; thats a big step. Huge really.
It amazes me what I've done. People tell me they're proud of me, and I really am proud of me too! Amazed me.

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